


Interlude NSFW

by CloudDreamer



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22060405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudDreamer/pseuds/CloudDreamer
Summary: Alexandria reads some bad fanfiction.No actual smut here.
Relationships: Rebecca Costa-Brown | Alexandria & Fortuna | Contessa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	Interlude NSFW

_“Ur the only one that can make me feel human” Said the best hero EVAR and tuh Siberian purred like a dog and they kissed except becuz Sibby is like a dog they were licking & it was tots sexy._  
-  
Alexandria closed the computer after typing out her comment, and despite her best efforts to be delicate, the screen shattered from the force of the impact.

“Door. Contessa,” she said, her voice measured as best as possible. Breathe in. Breathe out. If she wasn’t floating slightly, her feet might’ve gone straight through the floor. She was an expert in almost every anger management technique on the planet. She could remain calm for long enough to find the individual responsible for what was labeled, “Alex/Sibby Smut 18++++ srsly.”

The woman in the suit turned away from the teenager she’d just finished maiming to enter Alexandria’s private quarters. 

“No,” she said, before Alexandria could even speak to outline the problem, in all its graphic details. 

“It’s undermining the Protectorate’s image,” she argued, even though she recognized the look on Contessa’s face. The intentional glare. 

“ _No._ ” 

“Well, I can’t do it. Too public. People would ask questions.” 

“You sent a threatening message already.” 

“And I always follow up.” Contessa rolled her eyes, exasperated. 

“You haven’t heard of don’t like, don’t read, I see.” 

“She’s a mass murderer,” Alexandria said. If it was anyone else, she would’ve been able to understand so much more. Did Contessa know about this particular piece of fan created fiction or was she just acting? The phrasing suggested she was much more familiar with the subject than Alexandria, but she’d long since asked for the path to being hard to read. Inscrutable. As always. 

“So are we.” 

“Yes, but I have an image to maintain!” 

“One that is better served by allowing such individuals the freedom to operate as they please. Fair. Just.” 

“It’d be for the greater good.” 

“You already left a comment. If the person disappeared in the same manner as the ‘Boogeyman’s’ usual targets, then people might draw a connection. Not most, but there are enough thinkers out there--” 

“Make it look like an accident.”

“I will not murder a fifteen year old because she has not yet learned proper grammar.” 

“Their grammar isn’t an issue. I couldn’t care less if it was written well. It’s about the message it sends.” 

Alexandria knew it was a terrible idea to argue with the woman whose power was winning, but she couldn’t stop herself. 

“You’ll change your mind.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“No, really.” Contessa pulled out a phone and tapped her way to a bookmarked web page. The title for this one was vague, something out of an old poem that Alexandria had mentioned being fond of in an interview, and it too was tagged Alexandria/The Siberian. 

She grabbed the phone out of Contessa’s hand and scrolled down. Reading on devices was frustratingly slow, since she processed writing faster than the phone could scroll. 

“Damn, you’re right. That’s actually pretty good.” 

“The same writer has a series about the Number Man too.” 

“Really?” She looked at their profile. Tt. 

“Well, it’s about his days with the Nine, but it's an AU where he's an accountant.” 

“Ah,” she nodded and clicked through the chapters. “Huh. The Simurgh too?” “The writer really does have a great grasp on creative power interactions.”

“Agreed. Not many people remember my thinker power, let alone use it in such a creative way.”

Alexandria typed out a polite comment and tried to give kudos, but Contessa- her username was TheBoogeystan— had already left them. Alexandria looked at her, trying to see any of the signs that she reads so easily on everyone else. Nothing. Goddamnit.

“I still want that first one _gone._ ” 

“I’ll take care of it,” Contessa said, all seriousness. 

With writing lessons. Not murder.

**Author's Note:**

> There's no reason why Tattletale's sources can't include the comment section of her surprisingly popular archive of our own fics.


End file.
